You and Me Against the World, Sucker

December 20, 2007

Insulators and reflectors may lack the self-knowledge to serve the CEO well, but they are not unethical. The same cannot be said of our third confidant type, the usurper. Usurpers are dangerous not only to the CEO but also to the organization as a whole. They are sociopaths who should be shown the door as soon as possible. It’s important, though, to do this in a way that saves face for the exploited CEO,who may, like Rasputin’s czar, come crashing down along with his dangerous confidant.

Usurpers are deliberately scheming and ambitious. Whether at work or in their personal lives, usurpers only last long enough in relationships to get their needs met. When they feel that people are no longer gratifying their desires, usurpers will abruptly end the relationship. Usurpers clearly treat others badly, and they are frequently self-destructive as well. Not surprisingly, they often have long histories of impulsivity, as well as substance abuse or illegal behavior. And although women do act as usurpers, these extremes of behavior are more commonly associated with males. The majority of usurping confidants I have observed have been men.

Unlike the insulator, the successful usurper does not want to empower anyone else: He wants the power for himself.Quite often, the usurper actually aspires to be the CEO. One of the best literary examples of a usurper is Shakespeare’s Iago, who masterfully manipulated Othello to kill Othello’s own beloved Desdemona.As Shakespeare understood so well, leaders often fall prey to these wicked confidants because the usurper is usually a brilliant observer and, therefore, manipulator of the CEO’s personality. Usurpers have an uncanny ability to find a leader’s Achilles’ heel and to exploit it ruthlessly. In clinical terms, usurpers show varying degrees of sociopathic behavior, which – while not commonplace – certainly occurs in business and in society at large. Of course, to make it up to an organization’s highest levels, usurping confidants must also be talented, productive, and charismatic.When they are, their bad behavior can go unnoticed for quite a while, so long as they have their boss’s protection.

Consider Chris Wolman and Tony Miller.Wolman had led a golden life. Blessed with good looks and a winning personality, he came from a tight-knit family that had all the right social connections. He prepped at Exeter before going on to Princeton and then to Harvard Business School,where he graduated as a Baker Scholar. After a decade in investment banking,Wolman decided to start his own hedge fund.

Miller, Wolman’s B-school classmate, was also extremely bright, but his life had been much tougher than Wolman’s. The child of an abusive father and an alcoholic mother, Miller grew up in the inner city and went to a local state college. Twice divorced, Miller was constantly struggling to compensate for his humble beginnings. Exposed from an early age to lying and stealing, he developed a spotty conscience. As a result, Miller had a lot of bravado and no shame. But he had a terrific head for numbers – which was a talent that Wolman was quick to recognize when he hired Miller to be his CFO as soon as the position came open.

From the start, Miller made almost superhuman efforts to win Wolman over. He showered his boss with attention, all the while subverting others’ efforts to gain it. When other executives tried to have a word with Wolman at a company retreat, for example, Miller was never more than a step away. But given his rare ability to manipulate people, Miller was also able to modulate his behavior in such a way that it did not immediately alienate his colleagues. Not surprisingly, when Wolman experienced a major success, it was Miller who threw the party. It was also Miller who made sure that there was plenty of cocaine available for those so inclined.

Although Miller unctuously insinuated himself into Wolman’s kitchen cabinet, he was also intensely envious of his boss and sought constantly to find ways to use the CEO for his own gain. On several occasions, and without Wolman’s direct knowledge, Miller made insider trades using information obtained from his boss. And while he pretended to Wolman’s face to be one of his closest friends since their MBA days, Miller showed little regard for Wolman as a person. For example, Miller didn’t go to the funeral of Wolman’s father, who had been chronically ill. By then, Wolman was beginning to feel exploited by his toxic confidant, but his dependency on Miller led Wolman to rationalize his confidant’s flaws (or inconsistencies). To question Miller at this point would have forced Wolman to question himself; unfortunately, he wasn’t prepared to do so until his confidant’s behavior became even more egregious.

If it’s clear that Miller was benefiting from the relationship, it takes a little digging to understand what was in it for Wolman. In part, he enjoyed Miller’s insouciance and envied his apparent freedom. All his life, Wolman had been deeply risk averse, but he derived immense vicarious pleasure from watching Miller gamble on everything from his personal finances to his social life, where he was a renowned womanizer and man-about-town. For his part, Miller repeatedly encouraged Wolman to open up about personal matters as he never had to his more conventional friends. As a result, Wolman increasingly began to feel that Miller was one of the few people with whom he could really talk. Of course, Miller was the most dangerous of all Wolman’s intimates because he instilled in his boss a belief that everyone was out to get him. By consistently urging Wolman to question other people’s motives, Miller also deflected attention from his own.

Miller lasted just two years at Wolman’s company. Inevitably, the two men began to clash as Miller’s bid for power became more and more blatant. When Wolman refused to step aside, Miller left abruptly to start his own firm.Within a few years, Miller was indicted for securities violations. Unfortunately Wolman could only see in retrospect how seriously he had exposed himself.

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