The ‘F’ factor- bring it on
May 19, 2008
There is no doubt that if you are having fun in whatever it is you do, the feeling of being overwhelmed, out of control or out of balance simply can’t take hold-at the bare minimum, its effects will be lessened. For many people the loss of joy they experience on a daily basis is the most confronting aspect of leading a life that is out of harmony. As we say throughout this website, having a full and demanding life is not necessarily a bad thing-but having a life without laughter most certainly is. Read more
#20 Compliment Others, Be Positive To Others, Be Supportive Of Others
May 18, 2008
One of the greatest book I have ever read in my life is How to Win Friends and Influence People by that master of people interaction, Dale Carnegie. This book has been my bible for almost 20 years and I make a point of reading it again every year, at least once. I am sure this sounds a little crazy, but let me explain.
This book was written over 70 years ago, in 1936. It shows you, in very simple terms, how to get the best out of people. The concepts Carnegie raises are as relevant now as they were then. His underlying theme focuses on the power of being genuinely positive and encouraging of the people we deal with on a daily basis.
#19 When You Start To Lose Control—Stop, Breathe And Regain Focus
May 17, 2008
Being overwhelmed and feeling out of control in your business is a terrible feeling. Sometimes you just don’t know where to turn. There are hundreds of emails that need answering, a pile of telephone messages to return, correspondence to read, meetings to be had, deadlines of every kind, staff needing direction-and then you get the call saying there is a problem with your biggest customer, and it’s a doozy.
If all this sounds like your normal kind of day-and it’s only 9 a.m.-no wonder you are feeling a little out of control and in need of some balance and harmony in your life. I can relate completely. When you are in the midst of an overwhelming downer, it’s easy to slide even lower. Taking a moment to rethink and regroup is the best thing you can possibly do here.
#18 Identify The People Who Cause You Problems And Do Something About Them
May 16, 2008
Just as we develop negative thought patterns that are reinforced by negative language, there are often people in our lives who further reinforce these beliefs and literally bring us down by what they say and do.
We all have friends who make us wince when they walk in. We know that within five minutes they will have us completely depressed, and feeling that there is nothing we can do about it. Their lives are desperate, sad, tragic, bored or whatever, and odds on you have a sympathetic ear, so you listen and they keep coming back to tell you more.
#17 Gossiping, Moaning And Complaining—End It Today!
May 15, 2008
When you are feeling overwhelmed, out of control, depressed or negative, your conversation tends to be less than positive. This is when gossiping, moaning and complaining slip into the conversation. Unfortunately, after a while they become the norm.
I have a client I meet with once a week. He spends the first half-hour of our meeting moaning and complaining about the company he works for. It is tragic and sad and, to be honest, very depressing. My advice to him is always the same-leave. Find a company where you will be happy; life is far too short for ongoing misery.
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#16 Avoid Getting Caught On Steamship Misery
May 14, 2008
I talk to a lot of small business owners around the world. Interestingly, no matter which country I’m in, there seems to be a common misconception that small business is supposed to be tough, otherwise you aren’t doing it right. I call this ‘Small Business Syndrome’, and I believe it really holds small business owners back.
Small Business Syndrome relates to all the negatives of having a small business-and yes, there are a number of them, but in my opinion the positives far outweigh the negatives. And let’s be honest: if they didn’t, why on earth would you ever start your own business?
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#15 What Words Describe Your Life Now And In The Future?
May 13, 2008
Make a list of the words that describe your life now and how you would like it to be in the future. This tip follows on from the last, but it is a little more specific about how you can change the way you think. In my experience, the people who are positive and energetic about their life and their business are always much happier and more balanced. If you listen closely to what they say you will see that their words reflect their thoughts-and that is the key.
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#14 Make A List Of The Negative Words You Use And Burn It
May 12, 2008
I got into a nasty habit a while back. Whenever friends, colleagues or associates asked how I was, my standard response would be something along the lines of: ‘I’m so busy I can’t do any more. It’s ridiculous-I’m working really long hours, I’m not sure if I’m getting anywhere, and I’m certainly not looking for any more clients.’ This response was a reaction to being very busy for a number of years.
Then things started to happen that made me realise I was heading down a dangerous road. One day I actually listened to what I was saying when a friend asked me how things were going; to my shock I realised I’d responded with my standard tirade without even stopping to think how things really were going. My friend’s eyes glazed over, my mouth was on automatic pilot. As this weird, negative little action went on, I realised I was reinforcing my negative beliefs.
#13 What Are The Limiting Beliefs That Keep Your Life Out Of Control?
May 11, 2008
Limiting beliefs are very interesting. Most of us have inherited them from our parents or other influential people in our lives, or even from the media. These can be beliefs that stop us from excelling in life.
I saw an extreme example of a limiting belief on a trip to Sri Lanka recently. In an elephant orphanage, the elephants seemed to be held in their places by a length of string tied around one back leg. Clearly the elephants could have broken away in a second but apparently they never did. The reason for this was explained by one of the handlers.
What I Need To Do To Regain Balance In My Life
May 10, 2008
The words that come out of your mouth are as important as those you hear
In this section I address the negative thoughts that we hold as true, often without even realising it, and how they are reinforced by and manifested in what we say and do.
Often we think of balance and harmony as being about sitting on a mountain and chanting. Sure, that would be great, but a lot of the time we don’t have a mountain handy and we need something a little more convenient. Closer to earth, simply changing what we say and how we say it can have an incredible impact on our sense of wellbeing.
