#14 Make A List Of The Negative Words You Use And Burn It
May 12, 2008
I got into a nasty habit a while back. Whenever friends, colleagues or associates asked how I was, my standard response would be something along the lines of: ‘I’m so busy I can’t do any more. It’s ridiculous-I’m working really long hours, I’m not sure if I’m getting anywhere, and I’m certainly not looking for any more clients.’ This response was a reaction to being very busy for a number of years.
Then things started to happen that made me realise I was heading down a dangerous road. One day I actually listened to what I was saying when a friend asked me how things were going; to my shock I realised I’d responded with my standard tirade without even stopping to think how things really were going. My friend’s eyes glazed over, my mouth was on automatic pilot. As this weird, negative little action went on, I realised I was reinforcing my negative beliefs.
The second notable thing was that people stopped referring clients to me. I noticed that my referral rate was dropping and at first I thought that maybe I was doing something wrong- well, I was, but it wasn’t what I thought. I asked a few close colleagues why, expecting to hear some bad news. They looked at me, quite surprised, and said, ‘Andrew, you are always so busy. We didn’t want to send you any more clients because you made it clear you didn’t want any more.’
What a realisation! I had to rebuild my entire thought and speech process, to retrain myself. I made a list of the words, phrases, terms and quotes I used that were negative-and there were quite a few. I made a commitment to myself to stop using them from that day on, and I did. In fact, as soon as I started to use a ‘standard response’ of any kind I would stop talking, collect my thoughts and begin again. Eventually I didn’t need my list anymore, so I took it off the wall and burned it.
I suggest you do the same. If we tell people often enough that life is horrible, it’s so hard to run your own business, staff are terrible, the market is down, we are doing it tough financially, we materialise these thoughts into reality.
If you turn these negatives into positives, the results are astounding. My rate of referrals has since gone through the roof and I will never ever moan about how busy I am again.
What can I do today?
Make up a list of the negative terms, words, phrases and quotes that are limiting you. Make a conscious effort to eliminate them from your life and replace them with positive, energetic and enthusiastic responses. When you are ready, burn the list of the old limiting words-you will never need them again.
[tags]Balance Life, out of balance, Negative Words[/tags]
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